Recovery Between Naps

So, my very good friend from Florida, Micheline, came up and stayed with me all week to take care of me, bless her heart. The night I got home my friend Linda S. came and stayed with me, and another friend, Linda R. (I have to get friends with different names!) cooked dinner for us and brought it over. I got lots of cards and flowers and was really touched by everyone's love and concern.

Sleep was iffy. I would get to sleep but then wake up in pain. I only took the official pain killers for a couple of days and then switched to four Advil. The painkillers were making me feel really strange and sort of sick to my stomach. Advil worked great. I have been reading the Morganville Vampire books by Rachel Caine, and they kept me company many nights.

After a couple of days I felt pretty good, but after a while I would just deflate like a balloon. No energy at all. I kept trying to get up and get going, but naps were really, really important, too. I had two drains in that I had to empty each day and if the tubes somehow got pulled on were very painful. I was wrapped like a mummy in a compression bandage and couldn't bathe until the Monday after my surgery. Ick. By Monday I couldn't stand myself anymore, so I put a couple of inches of water in the bathtub and got in. I was able to wash with a sponge almost all of me, while avoiding the bandage, which was to be kept dry. Afterward, I leaned over the kitchen sink, and Micheline washed my hair for me. I felt SO much better afterward.

I went to the doctor and he took one drain out. It felt a little funny, but not too bad. Well, the other drain, which was to stay in for a few more days, wouldn't cooperate after that. As the doctor put it, the drain didn't like that he'd taken the other one out. Since he couldn't get any suction he said we might as well take that one out, too. That one really, REALLY hurt coming out! I mean, I actually gasped in pain when he took it out, but at least it was quick. He bandaged me up, wrapped me back into the compression bandage and sent me home. The pathology report had not come back yet, so the verdict was not in yet. He wanted me to come back Thursday so he could check the drainage and also to give me the report.

Micheline cooked and cleaned for us, helped me clean out a closet--I sat on the floor and she took things out to ask me about. She was amazing and helped me so much. I told her I'd never be able to repay her, but she said I had nothing to repay, bless her. We went out a few times to do errands and just get me out of the house for a bit, but I tired pretty easily, so we'd come home and I'd crash.

Wednesday night I had a bad night. Lots of pain, especially under my arm I had finally looked at my mastectomy that day, too. I had been sort of afraid to look at it, but it wasn't as bad as I thought. Less like I'd been hollowed out and more like a deflated souffle. The plastic surgeon had the surgeon conserve a lot of my breast for the reconstruction.

I went to the doctor Thursday morning, and he said the report showed my lymph nodes were clear, so the cancer had not spread, thank God, and they got all the cancer when they did my mastectomy. Yay! I asked if this meant I would not have to have chemo or radiation, and he said he would leave that up to my oncologist, but it looked very good. With the drains gone, I had built up some fluid, so he did a needle aspiration. He put the needle into a numb part of my breast, but once inside, it travelled to a not-so-numb part and OUCH! Once he had it all drained, though, I felt much, much better and the pain under my arm was gone.

Thursday night I had tickets to see Jeff Dunham, the ventriloquist (I'm a big fan!), so I made sure to take a nap and take it easy all day so I could go see him. I did not want to miss his show! I had tickets since October and really wanted to go! Micheline got a single ticket some rows down from us, since she couldn't sit with Linda S. and I. For the first time I wore my bra with the prosthesis in it. My upholstery. I had bought a bra with cotton inserts in it. I only needed one, but since the one made me a little bigger on one side than my natural side, I took some padding out of the one I was going to wear on my natural side and evened things out.

The show opened with Guitar Guy, who was very, very funny, and a great guitar player! When he was done there was a fifteen minute intermission before Jeff Dunham was to appear. Linda went to get popcorn, and I walked down to where Micheline was sitting to talk with her for a bit since she was alone. As I was coming back up the steps, I happened to look up, and caught a man standing near the top of the steps looking at my chest. I wanted to point and say: "Ha ha, jokes on you!" or pull one of the cotton inserts out to show him or something, but I didn't say anything.

Friday I went to see my oncologist. She thought it was funny I called my inserts my upholstery.

I thought I was home-free. Instead, she told me I was on the cusp for whether I should get chemo or not. If I just took the Tamoxifen, which was a certainty, my chance of it recurring in ten years was %15. If I did the chemo and the Tamoxifen it would reduce the chances to %12. Do I want to go through chemo just for a %3 difference? I still don't know. Dr. J suggested we do a genetic test on my tumor to get more information and then we could decide from there. I go back to her in two weeks, but I'm pretty certain I'm not going to do the chemo. Is this a logical decision or am I deciding this out of fear and vanity? I'm not sure.

The other consideration is, if I don't do chemo I can get my reconstruction done in two months. If I do it will be middle to late summer before I can do it. Lots to consider.

During the week I had a little drama with Kara, my 17-year old, but she was feeling left out and neglected, and I don't blame her for that, I was just not up to fighting any battles. She's a sweet girl and has a good heart, we just had to iron some things out.

So, now you are mostly up to date. Michie left to go back to Florida yesterday. I will miss her a lot. I usually get a break from winter by going down to visit her and her husband Scott this time of year, but not this year. I'm not sure when I will get to go back *Sigh*

I went back to Dr. B yesterday to have the drainage done again. This time it didn't hurt at all, and he said there was not so much fluid, so my body is starting to absorb it. I go back Thursday for another session. He laughed when I told him my MacGyver method for putting my compression bandage on without help. I close the Velcro end in the bathroom door, and, while holding the other end to me, I spin until I'm all wrapped up again. It works really well.

I have a bunch of black tape gunk left on my skin from all the bandaging, and it's in areas I'd rather not scrub. Dr. B. said just a drop of lighter fluid on a rag will dissolve it pretty quickly. I have Goo-Gone, too. I will have to try that.

I have to see this time off as an opportunity to get some things done. I love creative writing, and I had started on a mystery novel a long time ago, but put it down and never got back to it. I am going to work on it this week.

Unless something exciting or unusual happens, I won't have much to report until I see the doctor again about the test we did regarding the chemo, so I will be pretty quiet for a while. Everything I do right now is between naps, you know? Take care, all. Talk to you soon!