I'm Baaack!!!!

I am so sorry I've taken so long to get back to all of you, but as you might imagine, it's been a hard week. I need to get you all caught up on my surgery and all the fun stuff afterward. Note to self: If you want to sleep, don't try to do it in the hospital!

So, last Thursday, February 25, 2010, exactly ten months until Christmas, I had my surgery. I had to be there by 5:30 in the blessed A.M., and then you wait. Well, my mom and step dad picked me up at about ten minutes to 5:00 and we drove over to the hospital, with my knees shaking a bit all the way. Since there is not much traffic that time of day we made good time and got there by 5:10. My stepfather dropped my mother and I off and we went up to the hospital door. one door had a sign on it that said: "Use Other Door." Tried that door, but it was locked. I was ready to walk away and go over to the emergency room entrance, but my mom tried the door with the sign on it and it was open! Either someone has a strange sense of humor or they just put the sign on the wrong door.

We sat in the waiting room until about 5:45 and then I got called back. The prep rooms at Carle are wonderful! You have your own TV to distract you and the bed you will occupy for the next couple of days is provided. I had to take everything off, couldn't even keep the underwear on, and put a gown on. They put me in the bed and got me a heated blanket to put over me. Very, very nice. Then the nurse put the IV in my wrist and left to get my folks. They came in and we chatted for a bit until Dr. B, my surgeon came in and talked with me. I like him a lot. Very nice and he inspires confidence, so that's a plus. He explained what would happen and told me they would start giving me the anesthesia soon, then they would take me down to surgery. That's the last thing I remember.

I woke up to the sound of a little kid crying. I didn't have my glasses (no contacts allowed) so I couldn't see much, but as soon as I opened my eyes a nurse came over and said: "Tracy, you're out of surgery and everything went fine." I asked her if the kid was okay. She said he was fine, it was just the way some kids woke from the anesthesia.

So, it was done. My right breast was gone, but hopefully, so was the cancer. Keep your eyes on the prize, girl! I was pretty drugged up, but I could feel the compression bandage around me. It was pretty tight, but I didn't have any pain. I must have gone back to sleep, because the next thing I knew I was in my hospital room. They gave me a lovely morphine pump and everything.

My folks talked to me for a bit and then went to have lunch. I just wanted to go back to sleep, but the woman in the bed next to me, whom I couldn't see because of the curtain around her, was having a breathing problem. I'd doze off, and so would she, and every time she did her oxygen alarm went off because her oxygen levels would drop when she slept. Very aggravating, but she kept apologizing to me for disturbing me. I told her it was not her fault, she couldn't help it, but I really, really wanted to sleep!

Later that day she was released and I had the room to myself. Ah, I thought, I can finally sleep! Wrong. First every alarm in the place went off every few minutes, they nursing staff, who were really kind and wonderful, kept coming in to check my vitals, and then some guy got into a loud argument with a nurse right outside my door. Oh, and I should mention that the tower I was in housed the helicopter pad, and it arrived and left a few times during the day as well. I dozed a bit, but not much. I think the other problem was, I don't sleep on my back well, so I didn't sleep well at all.

Later in the day they told me I could have a liquid diet to start out with, and if that stayed down I could move on to more substantial food. Pah, I thought. I feel fine! I can eat anything. Wrong again. I had chicken broth, jello and apple juice and felt pretty good. Later I got some chocolate ice cream. Bad idea. A few minutes later it came right back up. I felt okay after that, and the nurse said that could have been a afterthought of the anesthesia.

Much later, I was getting pretty hungry, so I got a bit more to eat, but still in the softer variety. It didn't stay down either. Gah! I was hungry, but I was afraid to eat anything in case it came back up. Looking back on it now, I think it was the morphine. I was using it a bit too much. That little button is just too easy to use, so I purposely cut back.

Every cloud has a silver lining, and mine is that I have so many friends, family and well-wishers that are really concerned for me that I am really, really touched. I had several visitors that night and that meant a lot to me. Instead of flowers, I got several stuffed animals to cuddle while I recuperated.

During the evening shift I got a male nurse named Al whom I really liked a lot. He teased me about the animals and asked if I'd named them. He just generally talked to me like a friend and teased me about things. He was great.

I hated to keep calling him and Pat, the nursing assistant all night, but they kept giving me these big bags of fluid through my IV and I had to go to the bathroom all night long. Because I was plugged into the IV, and I had those massage things around my legs, I had to have someone come unhook me from all of it to get out of bed and go. The first time I did it, by the time I got back to the bed, I was in a cold sweat and the room was spinning. The nurse had me sit on the side of the bed while she waved something under my nose and put something cool on my forehead. She said that was a long way to walk for my first trip out of bed. Later visits went much better.

My surgeon, Dr. B., visited both Thursday night about 8:30 and Friday at about 6 am. The man works long hours apparently. I got brave and ordered scrambled eggs and toast for breakfast and I am happy to report they stayed down. I got released from the hospital fairly early and looked forward to actually getting some sleep in the near future.

Mom came and took me and all my loot, i.e., flowers, stuffed animals, medicine and the stuff I'd packed to come to the hospital that I never used, home, and I was put to bed, where I'm happy to report I slept just great! Woke up to a considerable amount of pain, but took more pain killers and repeated the process.

More later about the week after, tonight I have to go see the oncologist for the final verdict and will let you know what she says in my next post.

Next: To chemo or not to chemo, that is the question.